coast!

my family is in town. we went to the coast yesterday for what was the clearest day i've ever seen on the oregon coast. we also toured the art museum and japanese gardens the day before, but i forgot the camera. oh well. i'm graduating today, which means a lot of pomp and circumstance for me, sitting for my family and shopping and eating in between.

let's play..."What's Lynette Researching Now?"

I can't tell if you all are sick of hearing about my research or are so deeply intrigued by it that you neglect to post, as the prophet Ezekiel could only sit in silence for seven days having seen the Lord (although the comparison is thin). Either way I'd like to dig my head out of a few primary resources and bring to the surface a little gem I'm going to call Theological Bedtime Stories. Travis, you'll like this one.

Right now I'm researching for my very last academic paper. From here on out I'm only accepting cash and publication rites for my papers rather than grades. The title is something like "the development of the veneration of the saints in the 3rd and 4th centuries," although the real title will be properly capitalized and contain at least one pun. So for the past few days I've been following some suggested primary resources and reading the likes of Origen, Tertullian and Augustine. It's been a balance of both gratingly boring and somewhat intriguing. One intriguing aspect was reading firsthand a story my theology professor would tell us in class, over and over again. I can see him very vividly, though in my mind there is a bit of a theological fog around the room, waving his hand in the air and saying "Away with the Atheists." You see, a long time ago in a land a far way from here there lived a man named Polycarp. He was highly esteemed in the Christian community in Smyrna and equally highly loathed by those who were not Christians. He was also a very old man. Now persecutions broke out in the early church and people were tortured and subsequently martyred for confessing themselves as Christians. Polycarp had tried to hide out in several farms outside the city and there prayed fervently and received a vision of how he would die. His pillow was in flames marking his own end. When he was caught and brought into the stadium he was told to renounce Christ by saying to the believers, "Away with the Atheists." Now at that time Christians were persecuted because they would not sacrifice to the emperor who was believed to be a god, and the god of the empire. Because they would not sacrifice they were called Atheists. When called to commit this act Polycarp turned instead to those in the stadium cheering his death, held up his hand and shouted, "Away with the Atheists." And now without properly citing I'll quote a bit verbatim from "The Martyrdom of Polycarp."

"But when the magistrate persisted and said, 'Swear the oath, and I will release you; revile Christ, ' Polycarp replied, 'For eighty-six years I have been his servant, and he has done me no wrong. How can I blaspheme my King who saved me?'"

In my mind I'm trying to combine my last paper with this current one and figure out how to tell these stories if not to the kiddos at church at least to my children when the day comes. This morning I taught our 3-year-olds at church to point to themselves and say, "I am the church." I'd also like them to know who else is part of the church and what they did. People like Polycarp of Symrna.

Alright, enough rambling. Back to work.

Nintendo Wife, Nintendo Strife

Every Sunday I call my parents who live in Wisconsin. Every Sunday my Mom answers and pretends to be surprised that I am on the other end. Both my Mom and my Dad, on a typical day will proceed to talk my ear off for upwards of 2 hours. I enjoy hearing what their weekend activities and how the dog or grandson is so cute and how I have to see it or him. I'm partly to blame for the unbalanced conversation because when they ask how things are for me and what I've been up to I never seem to have a long or interesting answer. This past week I had class and work on Monday, worked Tuesday and then was writing a paper for the rest of the week. Nothing to call home about. Jon on the other hand has been busy. Mostly he's at school, teaching punk students about the New Deal(s). But when he's home and near craigslist.org he's wheeling and dealing. Today he bought two NES consoles. This week he's sold and spent games and consoles equally upwards of hundreds of dollars. I'm a little proud of him. It's got to be one of his spiritual gifts. I'm also a bit mystified by it all. So, I decided to you in on what the Sanchez: Portland Division family has been up to. Jon's collecting and selling all things Nintendo. I'm shooting him confused looks and starting to look at the Nintendo franchise forming in our home with a hint of jealousy. What did you do this week?

from the likes of research

So, I want to share a bit of my research with you. I spent a good five hours at the library today looking through a few different commentaries and trying to figure out what exactly we can learn about children in the gospel of Matthew. I have a fear there is not much to be said. I worry that I've chosen a topic on false pretenses and while my topics usually expand beyond expectation as I research I'm looking at the narrowing of this one. I'm trying to get out of the metaphoric rut of the other commentators who see Jesus using children as an object lesson rather than uplifting children as children. We'll see what I come up with by Monday.

Until then I wanted to share a quote from Ulrich Luz's commentary on Matthew. In this quote he is commenting on how Matthew 19:13-15, when Jesus lays hands on children to bless them, is often used to support infant baptism. He finds no grounds for supporting the practice in this or any other New Testament passage. Fair enough, but what struck me was his comment on the involvement of children in the church and what it's going to have to mean if we follow Christ's words and turn and become children.

Here is what Luz says:
“However, in the perspective of our text I would like first of all to encourage our churches to include children, not only in separate rooms and on separate occasions but also precisely in our main corporate worship—and to include them not as passive participants who it is hoped will keep quiet but as persons who as children help shape our worship and make it more spontaneous, lively, and in a positive sense perhaps somewhat more chaotic. In the second place I would like to encourage our churches to rediscover the reality of blessing not only for children but also for others—and to do that not merely in corporate worship.”

This gives me plenty to think about, more for practice than for a paper. I work with kids every week, little kiddos who I try so earnestly to order and teach and get on a schedule. So often they are spontaneous and chaotic. I can't quite figure out what its going to mean for me to become a child, especially at this point in my life when I feel forced to become an adult and have a few kids of my own.

senior apathy

The Sanchez family is thoroughly stressed out. Jon has been spending his week first at a massive education job fair then suffering the mixed blessing of being called back for an interview. I have been working full days, early mornings, late nights. I have a first draft of a paper due Monday, which I have two pages of research to contribute. Really two pages of scripture references that need to be researched. We need a break but are instead looking ahead to one last month of school work. The beginning of May will signal our release from a year of us both being in school, a year that is showing its wear.

My senior year of college I had multiple conversations with my rooommate Becca about being apathetic. Overachievers our whole lives, we were both trying to the learn the skill of second best. We weren't good at it and were better at convincing ourselves we didn't care anymore. On finals week, with most everything else done, I woke up early every morning to read philosophy. The class was studies on epistemology, the study of knowing or how we are able to know. I had arranged to take the class credit/no credit so earning a good grade wasn't really an option. I just needed to pass. Still I woke up early and read and prepared.

And now, I can't get myself to research. I talk about the paper I'm working on. I think about it. I can't get myself to sit down and do the work, though. I want to ask of my professor what Max on "Rushmore" asked the principal. "Couldn't we let me just slide by, for old time's sake?" I want to be done with seminary. I want to come home from work and not have one more nagging responsibility. I think I would be content with being a really good part time housewife. Part time because with no babies I have to keep my day job. For a while there I was getting pretty good at delegating chores to myself.

I guess I need to remain hopeful. I told Jon we would eventually look back on these years as the best. He disagreed. Our best years, he said, will come when we are dead. There will be good things in all of these years: school, church, kids, jobs, retirement. But the best is yet to come beyond it all. So I am stressed. I am struggling and I'm hopeful. Still, I could use a little kick in the pants. Get back to work, Lynette. You're not going to get an A in blogging.

easter monday

This morning I ate a few bites of a fabulous brownie concoction and found myself saying, "He is risen indeed." Why else would I be eating sweets on a Monday? Now that Lent is officially over, I can take a few minutes to reflect. And to be honest it was kind of lame. At least, I was pretty lame about it this year. Giving up sweets for the third year running didn't prove to be a great challenge. It was the positive aspects, the adding somethings, that sucked. I did minimal reflecting and writing and reading. But it was good to see some resurrection hope in the past week. I got to have three conversations about ministry with three different people with whom I am in ministry. I read the Bible some and prayed some. I did much of what Travis did in his latest post, confessing I've been a bad friend. And it was so sweet to have a prayer rise out of me, which I have not earnestly prayed for four years. Having breathed a sigh I heard myself says, "Overwhelm us...with Your love." I learned that prayer when I was attending Westminster Chapel in London my junior year of college. I had since forgotten it and it came as a surprise from my own lips. And it has been my hope these past couple of days that God can reteach me and remind me of his love and work in my life.

This week is Spring Break at the Sanchez house. Jon has commenced the week long event by bidding for and winning a top loading NES + 8 games and cleaning kit on Ebay. He wanted me to tell you. I'm getting odds and ends done, thinking about teaching 3-year-olds about the Church, and heading to work in about half an hour (because the coffee grinder is not going to deep clean itself).

Season Finale

I haven't been studying. I have been watching a lot of TV. Jon and I just finished the sixth disc and last episode of "Freaks and Geeks." When I queued the first disc on netflix, I was relying on the opinion of someone at work who said I would enjoy it. Well, they had either said I would enjoy it or snottily rebuked me for not having seen it yet. But my initial tie to the show comes from Kim Kolnik, a friend from high school. She had actually auditioned to be in the show while down in Chicago. From what I heard the people in line for the auditions were more freak than the show required. So, I suppose I've been wanting to watch this series for roughly nine years. Sheesh.
Going into it I expected a mix between "The Wonder Years" and "My So-Called Life." I was determined to like it, so that when the third disc left Jon and I completely disappointed, I sabotaged our plan to stop watching by continuing to queue disc after disc. Oops. I was immediately aware that what Wonder Year and My So-Called Life had as a crucial element was entirely lacking here. There was not introductory or continuing monologue in the episodes, so instead of getting into main character, Lindsay's head we only see her reacting without much thought. There are slight moments with her brother and boyfriend when she begins to open up, talking about the death of her grandmother as the motivation for her spiral into freakdom, but she quickly cuts herself off. It was as if the writers had only gone so far to plan her behavioral actions and had not looked into her motivations. So she ends up shrugging a lot and saying, "I don't know...blah blah, teenager." And the scene falls flat. In the first few episodes I kept saying, I need to hear what she's thinking. I want a narrator telling me what is going on.

What kept Jon and I watching were, respectively, the geeks and Lindsay's relationship with lanky drummer, Nick. Jon wasn't a geek in high school. At least I don't think. He played football, after all. But he liked how that thought, interacted with each other, spent their time. The geeks recalled for me why I love working with junior highers. So terribly awkward and for that so lovable. As for Nick, it was the absolute commitment of a high school crush. Again, the awkwardness, but more so how genuinely he went after her. How he fumbled and then a bit how she used his devotion while remaining undecided. More shrugs and small bits of dialogue from Lindsay again show the weakness of her character. At the same time I spent time in high school being that girl, using some poor teenage boy's devotion to my advantage=self-esteem and smashing pumpkins tickets. I have since repented.

There were very few episodes that were strong in plot, and in the end it was the cast of quirky characters whom we loved. After the finale, we discussed who we would miss and how we were curious to see how some would end up. I suggested "Freaks and Geeks: The Technical College Years," but concluded that all's well that ends awkwardly.

The funny part is, I really didn't enjoy high school. I spent the end of it waiting for college. I figured I'd have more intelligent conversations in college. I would learn about whatever I wanted and finally be in charge of my own education. Partially true. Nonetheless, I ate up this series with all the high school cliques and cliches. And I think it was mostly because they were people I wanted to relate to and be around. Partly it was TV and not homework.